Who Am I?

Well I'm just another bored teenager of course. Well I don't like to think of myself as average. I am simply me. I am who God created me to be and I'm ok with that. I'm not perfect. I'm not the prettiest or the smartest girl you'll ever meet, but I'm comfortable in my own skin. I have a purpose in life and I'm going to figure that out and fulfill it someday. I'm different and I don't mind. Some people think I'm weird or strange or crazy, but I don't mind. Love me or hate me, it's your choice and not really something I can change. I know I'm not going to be everyone's favorite person but that's ok, I don't have to be. As long as I can be myself and live life how I should, I'll be happy. I'll deny that sometimes and think I'm miserable, but deep down I'll be happy. I'm not the cookie cutter little miss perfect either. I have my flaws, I've had my tough times that have gone to the extreme. I've gone down dark roads and I'm lucky (not to mention thankful!) to be writing this. Don't try to label me, it's impossible.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Innocence

The music has returned! After a month or so of writer's block, I woke up at the crazy hour of 7a.m. DURING SUMMER! That must be pretty big considering I go to bed at around 4 a.m. Well it was perfect, or so I thought. I then picked up my guitar and it came out completely different but even more perfect! 
Where the lyrics came from, I'm not so sure. I've written similar things before, but never really liked it before. 
It's not completely finished on account that it changes just a little bit every time I play it but here's the draft

I'm looking back at memories
Of happy times and the times I've cried
Loves I've lost and chances missed out
Thinking of the million times I've smiled
Oh how I've smiled

Chorus:
I can't help but to grow older
And see the world a different way
Every year feels colder
Don't you know things can't stay the same forever
It's like trying to fight the world
And losing a piece of me
So I'm writing this song
To remember who I could be

When I was young I, 
Saw the sun in everything
Now I can't imagine
How rose tinted lenses must've been
A dozen roses on my doorstep
Used to be the sweetest thing
But now it's just another bitter memory

Chorus and bridge I feel is not close enough to done to share.

Basically it's about childhood innocence being lost. I've seen that happen so many times. I used to be pretty sheltered. Then I entered sophomore year. I grew a lot physically in sophomore year, like at least 3 inches, but true growth came in junior year. I used to be so young and nieve it scares me. I saw the best of the world and now I'm blind ambition and very competition driven. I used to be shy and nice and quiet, like the girl from the song "Girl in 14G" 
The second part of the song (bridge and outro) is more about remembering. Part of it that I plan on keeping is: "Do hold on to this now, though it's just a memory, you can see all I've tried, but never could succeed, just hold this to your heart so you can remember me." 
It reminds me of The Last Lecture. 

Latest songs in my head
1. "Jump and Fall"- Taylor Swift- Learned it on my guitar, no idea why I love it so much
2. "Dancing Queen"- ABBA/Mama Mia
3. "For Those Who Wait"- Fireflight- You didn't think I'd have a list without a good rockin' song right? 
4. "Girl Can Rock"- Hilary Duff- No, I am not kidding
5. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Glee

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