The Shadow Proves The Sunshine

Yeah, one of my new favorite songs by Switchfoot. It's totally correct because if you see a shadow, you're sure that there's sunshine somewhere, at least a tiny little ray of it through the clouds. Good thought to ponder considering how many things went wrong today. Let's see today I've had this sick to my stomach feeling about Benefest, the chairty event I'm directing. I know I started that project really really late and I'm really pushing it with due dates but it's looking up. It's no where near how amazing my original plan was, but next year it's going to be better.

So then, I did something completely stupid. I forgot I had a disk in my laptop's disk drive and then forgot it was a laptop drive. I put in a half size disk and now the whole thing is jammed. Of course on the day my dad goes and rents a movie. Tomorrow I'll be taking it into the shop to be fixed. The thing about automatic computers is that my Macbook is constantly trying to spit out those disks, not good. Hopefully I'll make some money at work this week to pay off possible replacement of a wreaked disk drive fees.

I'm running on faith with Benefest right now, I have a ton of stuff that needs to be done and I'm super nervous it won't get done. Of course I trust my team, at least to a point. They say they're getting things taken care of, but I just can't help but worrying. Being sick the past few days has really slowed me down and I feel like a complete slacker for it. It's for the good of others, I'm sure I can give up a little sleep for them right? Well actually it's spring break so I'm getting plenty of sleep at the moment but normally...

I just don't want to intimidate the exec board. Sure I worry like crazy, dream up plans and ideas all day, and all that good stuff, but I don't need them feeling they should do the same. I just want a good reliable team that's ready to do things and pull their weight. Right now I'm actually feeling like a slacker because my team is doing so much when I've got so much downtime. Maybe I should add another extra circular... SkillsUSA, Robotics, FCA, Show Choir, Tech Theatre, Theatre club, Science Olympiad, Choral Council, work, church, why do I still have free time? Hmmm... how about just working harder on what I already do? That's a pretty new one...

I just know something good will come out of this. I'm under a shadow but that means there's some sunshine somewhere and it's shining down on me. Soon the clouds will clear away and there'll be a lot more. I just gotta keep myself patient enough to see it, or look harder.

Well being new to the blogging world, I don’t quite know what to write right now… I guess I’ll start with why I’ve taken up blogging. Well there are several reasonish things.

1. It’s spring break. I’m at home sick. All my friends have gone to the beach at this point. Therefore I have nothing to do.

2. How I got this idea? Well some of my friends had started blogging. Being a writer myself I figured I’d give it at try, maybe it would kill my every haunting writers block.

3. I love speaking out. We do speeches in English and I love them. I love writing them and then winging it on the actual presentation. How does this relate? Well those speeches are boring reports, they’re Op-Ed speeches or Epiphany speeches. That means I write and write about topics I like. Those topics are usually about how being a teenager isn’t how the movies make it out to be or being an individual and not a slave to society’s rules. So that class will be coming to an end in about 9 weeks, I kinda wanna keep a steady way of speaking out. I was once told I was an inspiration to one of the underclassmen. If I can impact just one more life, I’ll be happy.

4. I really do love pouring my guts out on paper, but my handwriting isn’t very legible and sometimes I can write some pretty deep sounding stuff. Sure I’m no philosopher and I don’t make sense half the time, but hey, if it makes sense to me, there’s that tiny little chance it makes sense to someone else out in there in this world.

So that takes care of why this blog exists, and I guess a little bit about it’s purpose. To be honest, I don’t quite know the purpose of this. I’m just a young, dumb, 16 year old winging it again. I guess I can say it’s to speak out on individuality and maybe provide some encouragement to hurting teens out there, but I might never know. No one ever knows until they try right? For me, this is another adventure, something to kill time that maybe someone out there might benefit from. How many readers I have doesn’t really matter. How much hate mail I get won’t kill me. I’m just gonna be myself and wing it, and hope something good results from this someday.

Now you're probably wonder: "Who the heck is this crazy chick that's writing this?"

Well the answer to that is pretty simple. I'm a another teenager with too much time on my hands. However, I'm not the typical teenager. I fight trends, but not like some wannabe attention begger. I am simply me. I'm who God created me to be and I'm not afraid to live that out loud. I love to have fun, but I won't compromise my morals for it. I love music, writing, playing guitar, singing, graphics, filming, and a ton of other things. I don't quite fit into any groups, but I don't mind. I don't have a specific style either. One day I could be in guitar shirts and skinny jeans, the next in a pretty pink babydoll top. The bottom line: I am me and nothing is going to change that. God made me who I am and I'm going to accept it.