Who Am I?

Well I'm just another bored teenager of course. Well I don't like to think of myself as average. I am simply me. I am who God created me to be and I'm ok with that. I'm not perfect. I'm not the prettiest or the smartest girl you'll ever meet, but I'm comfortable in my own skin. I have a purpose in life and I'm going to figure that out and fulfill it someday. I'm different and I don't mind. Some people think I'm weird or strange or crazy, but I don't mind. Love me or hate me, it's your choice and not really something I can change. I know I'm not going to be everyone's favorite person but that's ok, I don't have to be. As long as I can be myself and live life how I should, I'll be happy. I'll deny that sometimes and think I'm miserable, but deep down I'll be happy. I'm not the cookie cutter little miss perfect either. I have my flaws, I've had my tough times that have gone to the extreme. I've gone down dark roads and I'm lucky (not to mention thankful!) to be writing this. Don't try to label me, it's impossible.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I'm not a sadist, I'm just a tragedy writer

Well that's a new little saying of mine. Don't know where it came from or anything. Basically I first used it when talking to my chica Karla. I was outlining a plot for a new set of characters in my latest writing piece. The piece is follows the stories of three teenaged siblings, Dean, Roxa, and Lyra. Through the story, they experience the darker sides of the entertainment industry, which in a plot I will not reveal, there's death, betrayal, and taking chances. Well while explaining the ending, she jokingly called me a sadist. I replied with "I'm not a sadist, I'm just a tragedy writer that is sick of stories with happy endings, love, every dream coming true, and authors who too much of a pansy to kill off the good guys.
It seems that so many popular books lately have had happy endings, Bella gets her guy and Jacob falls in love in The Twilight Saga, Harry destroyed Voldemort in Harry Potter, good triumphs over evil in every single Redwall book, same goes for Warriors.
My goal as a writer isn't for those feel good happy touchy things. Of course those are good to include, and I do include those, but I don't focus on them. My goal as a writer is to make my readers CRY. And this all applies to my fiction pieces, not my blog. My life isn't that depressing that people should cry over every word of my blog. Either way, there's a need for books that pull at heartstrings, and force tears out of one's eyes, something that emotionally connects and makes the audience feel the tortured soul of the character. The audience should connect to each character on a personal level and then see the fatal flaws leading to the death of that character. That would be a tragedy.
Personally I hate over predictable books (and movies too!) that have one obvious conflict and an ending that anyone could guess. Usually the whole pursuit after a lover ending with a "happily ever after" is pretty much mundane.
The most frustrating thing about this set of characters is how much I could do with them. With their personalities and habits, there are so many times they'd be able to misstep, so many times they'd be able to pull themselves (or each other) out, and so many ways they could die. Then again, there are also so many possibilities of how they could deal with their own grief so differently from each other. The possibilities are endless.
Now, off to finish deciding the details and to start actually writing this thing!

Songs for the moment
1. "If We Ever Meet Again" - Timbaland and Katy Perry- My new iPhone's ringtone because it's such an addicting song haha.
2. "One Day Too Late"- Skillet, The meaning of this song is so powerful "Today I'm try a little harder, gonna make every minute last longer, gonna learn to forgive and forget because we don't long, gonna make the most of it. Today I'm gonna love my enemies, reach out to someone who needs me, make the world a better place because tomorrow could be one day too late"
3. "We Danced Anyways" Deanna Carter- Just such a pretty song!
4. "Would It Matter" - Skillet - right now it's these are the lyrics on my profile picture on Facebook, just because it relates to me so much (another topic for another post) The entire album is really good lyrically and all of it has been a good help to my thoughts.
5. "Safe" - Britt Nicole- It's been stuck in my head since I heard it while watching the movie "Ice Castles"